Ride Your Horse in the Direction it's Going
Cowboys (and Cowgirls, too!) are special. And so is the western way of life. City folks might find the cowboy way of looking at things a little different.
1. Don't squat with your spurs on.
2. Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.3. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.
4. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
5. Don't interfere with something that ain't bothering you none.
6. Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.7. There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
8. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
9. Always drink upstream from the herd.
10. Telling a man to git and making him do it are two entirely different propositions.
11. When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
12. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still back there.
13. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
14. If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
15. Never, ever, miss a good opportunity to shut up.
16. Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
17. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
18. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
19. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
20. Genius has its limits. Stupidity knows no bounds.
21. Careful is a naked cowboy climbin' a barbwire fence.
22. Never wrestle with a pig, You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
23. Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
24. Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.
25. The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
26. If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
27. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
28. Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.29. A smile from a good cowgirl is worth more'n a dozen handed out by a bartender.
30. There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
31. A bronc rider should be light in the head and heavy in the seat.
32. It takes a big cowboy to cry... but it takes a bigger cowboy to laugh at him.
33. Some men talk 'cause they got somethin' to say. Others talk 'cause they got to say somethin.
34. When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
35. Bein' too positive in your opinions kin get you invited to a dance -- in the street, to the music of shots, nicely aimed.
36. It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown... and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
37. Never trust a man who agrees with you. He's probably wrong.
38. Always ride your horse in the direction it's goin.
39. An old timer's a man who's had a lot of interesting experiences -- some of 'em true.
40. Startin' a rumour is like shakin' the feathers out of a pillow case in a wind storm. It's a heck of a lot easier to git rid of 'em than it is to collect 'em back.
41. Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
42. If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a room with an active mosquito.